Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in Deja Voo Doo's LiveJournal:

Thursday, December 16th, 2004
10:32 am	The Apprentice ok, let's just one thing straight here. 'The Apprentice' has nothing to do with the search for a brilliant young business mind that will be refined and groomed by The Donald. It's really just an hour longer Abercrombie and Fitch commercial where T&A counts more than MBAs. Somewhere I missed the class in business school where removing one's pants in a busy street was considered an effective stratgey for beefing up margins. That aside the most important quality appears to be sucking up the the Man (not to far from reality I suppose). Donald's right-hand girl Carolyn for example seems to loath the applicants but never disagrees the The Donald. Whatever the case I am assuming that next season's installment will be a collection of Hooters girls and Chippendale dancers who had impressive High School grades. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 21st, 2004
10:05 am	Election Year Dependables During any election year you will hear a lot about "working class americans" and how they are always getting the short end of the stick versus the rich. It's like the rich are all lottery winners or something and don't do shit. Isn't anyone with a job "Working class"? If a stockbroker busts his ass and makes $1 million a year as opposed to a ditchdigger who busts his ass and makes 30K, fundamentally any different? I mean they both work right? Is it also fair to assume that the Stockbroker might have busted his ass through High School and College to put himself in a position to make $1 million a year, whereas the ditch digger was that guy who always came to school stoned, skipped class and didn't study? Why demonize people who worked hard, had some luck along the way and are financially successful? Shouldn't we demonize those who sit at home and collect government money because they are not self sufficient? By the way all you lazy shits, it's the rich that are picking up your tab. (Comment on this)
10:03 am	More State of the Union Notes Regarding last night address, is it me or did the Republicans repeatedly try to start 'the wave'? (Comment on this)
9:40 am	State of the Union I'm sure a lot of important stuff is said during the State of the Union Address. Most learned people will tell you that it's your duty as a citizen to watch it each year to become more aware of the political process. Political analysts will dissect every word and critique the effort. The opposition will denounce everything that is said as "rhetoric". Hell, every freakin station will carry the address...well I think cartoon network has resisted so far. In the end every State of the Reunion sounds the same... "Good Evening Fellow Americans....blah blah blah....the Union is Strong...blah blah blah....we must decrease taxes...blah blah blah...we must increase services...Good night and God Bless America." My vote goes to the next president who starts the address of with a good joke, you know, something like... "How many blondes does it take...." or "A horse walks into a bar...". Now that would be must see TV. I can see Tom Brokow now gauging Tim Russert's response... Tom: "So Tim, what did you think of the president's dumb blonde joke?" Tim: "Well I thought it was interesting in that it was a clear attempt to court brunette voters who have historically voted Democrat. Frankly I was expecting a knock knock joke but it's clear the President has instead set his sights on hair this election year. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 8th, 2003
3:28 pm	What's with this trend??? In case ya haven't noticed, there's this weird trend happening with people driving home with pedestrian hanging out their front windshields. First came Chante Mallard her kindness giving a homeless guy a lift home...via her front windshield, and now this (http://news.lycos.com/news/story.asp?section=MyLycos&storyId=761469). I mean may by I'm a little think but how the hell does this shit happen?? The funny part of the story though is this... "Deputies first learned of the accident, which happened about midnight Friday, from bar patrons who called to report finding two legs near the parking lot, according to sheriff's reports." I can see it now, the bar patrons walk into the bar... Bar Patron: "um, yes, do you guys have a lost and found. Bartender: "why yes we do" Bar Patron: "Cool, cuz I just found these two legs in the parking lot. I''m sure someone's gonna miss them" Bartender: "Yes I bet they will, let me put them back in the lost and found box with the cell phones and jackets." Bar Patron: "Thanks, tell the person they should be more careful with their legs when they go out ok?" Bartender: "Sure thing buddy. Oh by the way, if the legs aren't claimed in 30 days you're entitled to keep them." Bar Patron: :That's ok, I got some already and these ones are too short anyway. Hey you haven't got any kidneys back there do you? I could use one of those. Bartender: "No sorry pal, but I think I might have a left thumb, ya interested? Bar Patron: "Nah, but thanks anyway. Have a nice night!" Bartender: "you too buddy, come back again....oh and thanks for the legs" Bar Patron: "No problem" It kind reminds of the conversation that must have gone on in this pic: ( You do not want to look at this ) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, May 30th, 2003
10:50 am	Death by Nerf Did ya see this? "On Friday, Petty Officer 3rd Class Dwayne Williams, 23, of Philadelphia, fell from the Nassau while chasing a football." So ya survive the perils of war, hostile and fanatical resistance by a brutal regime, guerrilla war tactics, and bad food. You're making your way back home for a celebratory and triumphant reception an decide to toss around the ol' Nerf ball on the deck of the Carrier. "Hey Dwayne! Go deep....uh...well...not that deep" An argument ensues as the defense insists that Dwayne didn't have both feet in bounds before tumbling off the side of the deck. The coach throws a flag demanding a video review of the play. "It has been determined that Dwayne did not have possession of the ball before leaving the field of play...2nd down!" I mean what are ya supposed to say? "Yes my son fought in the Iraqi war, and gave his life to give freedom to the oppressed Iraqi people. He was killed in a tragic "hail mary" play. Fast forward to the Arlington National Cemetery. You got a guy there who was gunned down by enemy fire while he valiantly ran into enemy fire to save a fallen comrade cut down on the beaches of Normandy. And he lies next to Dwayne, who ran too far out of bounds diving for a ball in a valiant effort to win the pick-up game for his team. I wonder if Arlington has a special section, waaaay in the back for guys like Dwayne. Ya know next to Charlie, who dies eating bad Spam, or Bobby who met his fate with untreated gonorrhea picked up from some hooker in Seoul while on R&R. I'll have to investigate that next time I'm there. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 29th, 2003
3:54 pm	Tongue Splitting So there was a recent story on "tongue splitting" on CNN recently. Below is link to online story. http://www.cnn.com/2003/HEALTH/05/13/tongue.splitting.ap/index.html Where do you start with this? "When I first saw it, I thought tongue-splitting was the most beautiful thing I've seen in my life," says James Keen, a 19-year-old from Scottsville, Kentucky. [Beautiful? Beautiful??? Hey James you ever been to a strip joint...now that's beautiful. You're talking about a tongue dude, a freaking meaty piece of flesh that sits in your mouth and whose only purpose is as a tool to tease other kids (in coordination with nanny nanny boo boo hand motion) and allow idiots like you to communicate with the world.] ------ "Keen, who now speaks with a slight lisp, says most people don't know he's had it done unless he shows them." [Of course you have a lisp idiot, your freakin' tongue is cut in half. Oh and by the way good luck eating soup James.] ------ "And it's a plus, he says, when it comes to kissing." [Ya I can't count the number of girls who wouldn't kiss me because my tongue wasn't carve up like a Christmas turkey. Just what girls dream of, a split tongue freak with a lisp] -------- "People are very curious about how it feels," says Keen, whose parents gave him their blessing -- and the $500 it took to do it." ["hey Dad can I borrow $500 so that I can get some tattoo ridden ex-junkie to slice my tongue in half?" "Sure son, hey here's an extra $500, maybe you can have him shove a titanium rod up your urethra, chicks REALLY dig that. Oh and tell him I sent ya, he's the guy who pierced my testicles last year when I was drunk on Ouzo. Hey could you also pick up your mother on the way home, she's working 5th avenue and Madison."] ------ "He says the cutting was done in three sessions with a scalpel heated by a blow torch and no anesthetic." ----- Note to the world: If you need a medical procedure that requires a blow torch and no anesthetic, you may want to reconsider the whole idea. --------- Keen's story is exactly what Illinois state Rep. David Miller, who's also a dentist, had in mind when he authored a bill requiring that tongue-splitting be done by a doctor or dentist, and only for medical reasons. [ya we should definitely make sure that mutilation is done by a certified and reputable doctor. I think there are a bunch of those types over in Iraq. Hey Rep. David Miller, how about authoring a bill to declare anyone who wants this procedure done an idiot and fair game for drive by whacks in the head with a baseball bat? And for "medical reasons only??????....I'm sorry Mr. Keen but the only way I can cure your migraines is by cutting your tongue in half with a scalpel heated by a blow torch and no anesthetic.] (Comment on this)
Friday, May 16th, 2003
1:48 pm	Paxil Commercial So I'm watching this commercial for Paxil which treats GAD- General Anxiety disorder and I'm thinking "hey this sounds great - guaranteed happiness in a pill." I picture my life then I hear this... "As with any prescription medication, Paxil CR may cause side effects, which are usually mild to moderate and may fade or disappear. Common side effects are nausea, decreased appetite, dry mouth, sweating, infection, constipation, sexual side effects in men and women, yawn, tremor and sleepiness. Patients should not stop taking Paxil CR before talking with their doctor." So now I got this picture of me vomiting over a full plate of food, shaking like Muhammad Ali, with a bloated colon filled with last weeks dinner, while I sweat like infection-ridden sexless pig in August, before I nod off in my soup, all the smilin’ and thinkin' "man I love life" (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 24th, 2003
5:59 pm	One more corollary to the Murder/Hot Chick Rule Jessica Lynch, the captured soldier who was ultimately rescued from her Iraqi captures...Anyone notice that she was hot....well in a army chick kinda way. Ya couldn't escape this story. The truth is her unit took a wrong fucking turn in enemy territory and were lucky not to get mowed down by Saddam's boys. Alright, I'm being a little harsh, but she gets captured, a bunch of grunts, not prone to reading driving directions wrong, plucked her away from certain death or at least a bunch of Shiites pulling a train on her. Net result, the media plays her up as a hero. A hero??? A fucking hero??????? She's took a wrong fucking turn and got captured. That's not a hero, that's someone I don't want riding shotgun, giving directions when I driving in South Central LA. The fucking heroes are the dudes who HAD to go in a get her. Can you imagine those guys talking... "fucking bitch turned the wrong fucking way and now I have to fucking pull her lilly fucking white ass outta enemy hands and risk my fucking life in the process". So the next thing ya know it's Jessica is hero, la dee fucking da. And to add insult to injury she sells her story to TV to turn it into a mini-series. I can see it now..."Next on Lifetime Channel, I Can't Read a Fucking Map and Got Captured by Enemy Towelheads: The Jessica Lynch Story" Dejaview's Media Lession (Corollary to Murder/Hot Chick Rule): You can be a fuck-up yet still attained media darling status if you're a hot chick. (Comment on this)
5:43 pm	Murder is alot more interesting if you're a hot chick I'm pretty sure people get murdered in this country everyday. In fact, I pretty sure bunches of people get murdered everyday. I also sure that some of these people are fucking idiots that probably deserved to get murdered, but I digress. TV News likes murder, but TV News Departments LOVE murder that involve hot chicks. Don't believe me? Let me see....Lacey Peterson, Nicole Simpson, Chandra Levy(ok Chandra Levy wasn't that hot), Jon Bonet Ramsey (ok Jon Bonet was kid, but the way here overbearing freak of a mother dressed her she was, for all intense purposes, a hot chick) What do they all have in common? They were all hot chicks.... Now to be sure there are aspects of sex, drama, infidelity, celebrtiy, and money interwoven in all these cases but they were are just ancillary to the fact that if your a hot chick and you get taken out, you're gonna make the 6 o'clock news. If you're a buck-tooth hillbilly from Tennessee, your corpse will rot in a field for years without a mention by the media, until maybe a hot chick finds you. Remember that black chick from Compton that was brutally attacked by a bunch of high school ruffiens high on Jolt Cola? Of course not cuz that chick, quite honestly was nasty lookin;, and Lord knows NBC don't wan to ugly ass black chick driving viewers away from the evening news. Dejaview's Media Lesson: If your a hot chick and you get waxed, you're gonna be on TV. (Comment on this)